November 2022
It was my great pleasure to speak to Richard Daniels who runs the excellent Occultaria of Albion website. He recently sent me his new book ‘Earth to Earth’, which I highly recommend for a fun romp in the World of the Occult. (Don’t worry it’s not scary). Here’s the interview below.
What is the Occultaria of Albion and where can I find out more about it?
The Occultaria of Albion is a series which explores some of the strangest and most bizarre occurrences from across the country. It covers everything from hauntings, UFOs, cryptids, crime and much more. Each booklet or zine focuses on a particular location and explores some of the supernatural stories connected with it – villages, train stations, reservoirs and pubs have all been featured. There is also a podcast and most recently a paperback book – Earth To Earth: A Beginner’s Guide To Unwitching. The world of the Occultaria of Albion is definitely for fans of things like The Wicker Man, Garth Marenghi and hauntology. The best place to find out more is at www.occultariaofalbion.com or find the podcast on Spotify, iTunes and most places where podcasts dwell.
Tell me more about ‘Earth to Earth’.
Earth To Earth tells the story of an Unwitcher called Jack Baxter. Unwitchers are guardians of the veil which separates our world from the world of shadows and the supernatural. They have offices in Doncaster. Unwitchers have existed for centuries, but in this story their existence is threatened by a demon who is seeking revenge on them. Most of the action takes place in a small village in the Lincolnshire Wolds.
The artwork is excellent, who is responsible for this please?
Yes – I love the cover of the book. The artwork was created by my wonderful girlfriend, Melody Phelan-Clark. She does all of the artwork and design for the Occultaria of Albion and always helps bring the stories to life. Her work is great and she’s recently started an MA in Fine Art. Her own style of work is very different to her work for OA but just as fantastic. You can find out more about what she does on Instagram – @melodyphelanclark
I very much enjoyed reading your book, how long did it take to write and was this your first attempt at a novel?
Earth To Earth actually started as an audio drama. I wrote it with the idea to produce it as a podcast. Then Covid and lockdown happened, and I had to shelve the project. Eventually I returned to it and felt that rather than an audio drama, it would make a good story as a book. I got to work adapting and rewriting it. I think in a lot of ways not being able to produce it as a radio play was a good thing. I was able to revisit it and make lots of improvements. Having a playscript version was great to rewrite, like a first draft. Over a period of about six or seven months it took shape and became Earth To Earth.
What are the best and worst things about being a creative?
The best thing is being able to play imaginatively and dream up different worlds – not having to be constrained by pretending to be normal all the time. The worst thing is having to pretend to be normal all the time – as well as trying to promote, build an audience, be crushed with self-doubt…
What artists/authors/musicians inspire you?
I’ve recently discovered a music label called Library of the Occult – they release lots of great stuff on vinyl and cassette, lots of mysterious synthesizer stuff and soundtracks to films that have never been made. They’re definitely worth checking out! There’s lots of writers I enjoy but one of my favourites since I was a teenager is the British pulp horror author, Guy N. Smith. Ever since I read Night of the Crabs when I was on holiday in Cornwall, I’ve been looking for copies of his books – they usually have some brilliant cover art. I also like the work of Nigel Kneale and the different podcast series by Danny Robbins – The Battersea Poltergeist and Witch Farm most recently.
How can I protect myself from evil beings from another dimension?
Ah, the age-old question! There’s no absolute way to guarantee protection but I find it helps to get a good walk in on a regular basis. Sometimes wearing odd socks can help – it keeps the evil beings confused. Being kind is also a good strategy and for best results I suggest exploring the world of the Occultaria of Albion!
September 2022
Awful Merchandise
Back at the start of the year, I planned out my big walks for 2022, a trip to Guernsey and the Cotswold Way. At the same time, I unwittingly made the big mistake of placing a big T-shirt order with Awesome Merchandise.
Merchandise sales are an integral part of this channel’s funding, and I had always used the usually reliable Awesome Merchandise. Subsequently, I thought nothing of it when an order placed in February was pushed back to April, then May. In June, I was told to expect the T-shirts the following week, but this soon changed to July.
During this period Awesome Merchandise had a number of deals on, and I sought to make the most of these by placing another couple of orders for badges and stickers. My profit margins are very slim, so I always try to stock up when there is an offer. When these failed to materialise and the customer service line went straight to the answerphone I did some research online.
To my horror, on Trustpilot (link here) there were a series of scathing reviews from customers who had received the same ‘it’ll be sent next week’ email. Like them, I had continued to receive a barrage of marketing emails for the very products I was waiting weeks and months to receive.
Initially, I had some sympathy for a company experiencing difficulties but this soon evaporated upon further investigation. There was a post from a former worker claiming that the company were lying to customers and had shut down all phone lines apart from sales, and continued to take orders for stock that they didn’t have. Refunds were not being processed, complaints were not replied to, and negative comments were blocked on social media, but still, Awesome Merchandise were taking people’s money.
I read Company reviews on jobsite Indeed (link here) from its own workers, criticising the management, telling of not being paid on time, and lying to staff and customers.
I tried emailing and calling several times a day. After countless calls, I managed to get through on the VIP sales line and was told by an operator I would be put on the list for refunds. It came as no surprise when later that week the company went into administration.
The owner has somehow managed to purchase the old company with his new company (link here), leaving all the investors out of pocket, and those who have placed orders unlikely to get anything back. I feel angry not just for myself but also for the countless small businesses usually artists and creatives that have been lied to and put into jeopardy by Awesome Merchandise.
I don’t know the purpose of writing this, I think I wanted to moan out loud and explain why I might be doing some familiar Isle of Wight walks rather than the Cotswold Way. I lost about £700 which was my budget. I also wanted to warn people that any purchases on a credit card are only protected for 180 days, so if you have not received an order after a few months please contact your bank before it is too late. I did not realise this until now. Also regularly check your suppliers’ ratings and reviews on Trustpilot and the comments on social media before placing any orders, as things can quickly go downhill.
The good news is that I will be doing more Isle of Wight walks. Ha! I have also found a new T-shirt and sticker supplier. I will be moving memberships over to YouTube at the end of the year. Existing website members will still be involved in some prize draws, and will still be members of the club. I thought it fair that those who contribute regularly on Youtube should be rewarded. I wanted to turn memberships into a subscription as regular contributions are invaluable to keeping the channel going. So if you are not a Youtube member, please consider it. Just 99p a month or £11.88 a year for the lowest tier. I hope people think it is worth it. Also, I have stock of all the merch listed on the website so please do not worry about placing orders.
Stay cool.
July 2022
The Perfect Notebook
Any traveller’s dream is to have the greatest amount of functionality with the minimum amount of weight. For me and probably most others, buying things is just a tedious search for the perfect item in order not to have to make another purchase ever again.
Last year I began the search for the perfect walker’s notebook, one that I could use to write in, but also paint watercolours and draw pictures. A madman’s pipedream right? A notebook with different types of paper? Impossible. I thought so too, until last Christmas when I was lucky enough to receive the classic ‘Traveller’s Notebook’. For those of you who don’t know, a traveller’s notebook is pretty much a leather binder with elastic bands in its spine so you can add and remove inserts to customise it to your needs.
I was immediately a big fan. I bought different inserts and dedicated each notebook inside to different uses – walks ideas and plans, new words and phrases I liked, doodles etc.
Whilst I was very fond of the present. I soon realised it was an odd shape. The long and narrow form made it great for writing but not to my personal tastes for drawing. So I found myself buying its little brother – the passport-sized traveller’s journal. This has the advantage of being a lot more portable, which I loved, but the new problem was that it was a bit too small for writing so my notes would quickly fill up a page.
I realise that this blog is not only boring but beginning to sound like Goldilocks and traveller’s notebooks, or perhaps Baldilocks is a better name.
Anyway, a few months later after a job, I decided to treat myself to a new possible solution – the A5-sized traveler’s notebook. This one was made by an Etsy seller called Meadowgate Leather. Oddly it is difficult to get these A5 sizes despite most of the British stationery being based on it – therefore lots of choices for refills. (I think a company called ‘Wanderings’ make one on Amazon – link here).
The A5 book was perfect for my local Isle of Wight walks, and I enjoyed sitting down and painting in it. However, when I took it on my three-day walk of the Boudicca Way, I discovered to my horror…guess what? It was too big.
I wanted to carry as little weight as possible and also it was a pain in the ass taking my rucksack off my back every time I needed it. Not only that, all of these traveller’s notebooks had meant I had to carry my Spotter’s Handbook separately. Everyone knows this is a vital piece of equipment for any walker.
And there was the solution! Staring me in my stupid egg-shaped poppy-eyed face right from the start. The A6 size! I could take the Spotter’s Handbook, a notebook and a watercolour sketchbook in one book, and it would fit in my bumbag or most pockets for easy access! Bingo Bango! One of life’s most difficult conundrums solved!
The trial was my four-night trip to Guernsey. I am pleased to report it was a great success, A6 gave me enough room to write and the perfect size to sketch in. I liked it so much that I bought one to give away in the next prize draw in the video for Youtube members. I hope the winner enjoys it as much as I do. Hooray, the search for the perfect walker’s notebook and this blog are over (almost).
Do I still use the other notebooks? Yes. I wrote this blog in my traveller’s notebook. The passport is an excellent everyday carry, and the A5 is great when I fancy going out and painting.
Well done. You have reached the end of possibly the most boring geeky blog ever.
February 2022
Merch and the Unknown Youtuber
The greatest piece of headwear of the 21st Century has arrived. They’ll soon be wearing it on the catwalks in Milan. The Bottle Green Cool Dudes Walking Club beanie. But what could be the perfect accompaniment to this? None other than a new T-shirt. The ‘Stay Cool’ logo t-shirt has been delayed until May/June as there is not enough stock of the bottle green t-shirts. So I bought a very small run of Organic high-quality T-shirts (this is why it is much more expensive). This one has a different logo. These are now available in the shop get them while stocks last. Anyway onto today’s blog.
I am a huge fan of Youtube. It’s incredible to have a platform where anyone can publish their films, however, I seem to find it more and more difficult to find new things. I think this is an internet wide problem where algorithms determine that we only see things based on what we already watch. If I look up a fountain pen review, all of my feeds will be deluged with fountain pen related content for the next few weeks. Until I buy a strimmer for my Dad, then it will be garden content.
In light of this I thought it would be a good idea to draw people’s attention to a walking YouTuber I found who never promotes himself. I only stumbled across him by accident.
I started off picking my walks using an excellent website called Saturday Walker’s Club. It has walks all over the South of the UK. Almost all of them start and finish at railway stations, and are planned to include a pub lunch and somewhere for tea. I started making videos of these walks and posting them to the video section on their website. It was then I found that another YouTuber had been making videos of these walks for the last ten years, his name is ‘amib’. There are hundreds of these Saturday Walkers Club walks and ‘amib’ has made a video of almost every single one.
If you’ve ever seen a ‘Ronseal’ advert, then ‘amib’ is the walking version of that. No nonsense walking. If you think I sound miserable then ‘amib’ never wavers from his permanent slightly annoyed state. It might stem from his London accent. It is very reminiscent of my Mum’s side of the family who are from the Hertfordshire area. What is immediately apparent is that he has an excellent turn of phrase. I love his use of the English language, he’s very articulate and adds great details about the wildlife and local area.
He gets pissed off about the same things as I do – badly kept paths, noise, cheap housing, fly-tipping, bridleways turned into bogs by horses and pleased when he sees wildlife and improvements to walking routes. But unlike my videos where I bang on straight to the camera, you never see ‘amib’, and he seldom reveals any details about himself. I like to try and piece together facts about ‘amib’ from his life. But I know little other than that I think he teaches English and has had a hip replacement.
One day I hope to bump into him is I can tell him how much I’ve enjoyed his videos. I expect he will probably hate me.
Some of Amib's videos
January 2022
The Joy of Spotting
Back in March 2021, I introduced the Spotter’s Handbook, as a way of trying to make walks more interesting (with a secondary interest of making a bit more to fund the walks of this club).
It took a couple of months of compiling lists, going through suggestions, trying to find matching photos, and using my very limited graphic design skills before I produced the first edition. I ambitiously got about 500 copies printed and am now delighted to say they have all been snapped up.
The new second edition is out now. It has an extra 27 things to spot, so up to 297. I also managed to get some sponsorship so have reduced the price to £4. An absolute bargain.
I take my Handbook on every walk and usually fill it in on my lunch stops, and then again on the journey home. The more familiar I’ve become with the contents the easier it is to look out for things. While some spots are less exciting like ‘Information Boards’, or ‘Picking up Dogs mess’ signs, there have been some I never thought I’d see.
My top three favourite spots of 2021 were.
- The Seals at Horsey Gap (Norfolk Coastal Path)
- An Ant Carrying something (Serpent Trail)
- A Tall Ship (Cool Dudes Trail)
One thing I found was that I was almost always rewarded when I stopped for a moment on my walks and looked around. I was surprised just how many beetles and other insects I saw on the ground and if I ever waited for a minute or so a Robin would invariably fly into view.
The rule change of half points for likenesses (see below) has now been over-ruled after I spotted about 30 stone figures in someone’s garden.
I have changed the rules slightly to allow half points for likenesses of things in the book. For instance, a statue of an owl would give you half the points of seeing the animal itself and counts as a half spot. A painting of a Fox or fake Alien Spaceship would do the same….you get the idea. People’s front garden’s and pub signs have now become valuable sites for these half spots.
Last year I managed to see 173/270 of the items in the book. An impressive 64%, so that’s my target to beat this year. The best walk was Cocking to Petworth a total of 71 points. A high scoring walk does rely on a bit of luck and stumbling across a couple of high scoring things.
Please post your high scoring photos on Instagram with the hashtag ‘#cooldudespotters’. I would love to see how everyone else is getting on.
Happy Spotting and stay cool.
December 2021
The Norfolk Coastal Path
From September 26th to October 1st, I walked the 85-mile Norfolk Coastal Path. I tend to start every walk by worrying that either I’ve forgotten something or I’ve booked the wrong date for a train ticket or a hotel. I have a great tendency to daydream and let my mind wander off, so feel I must pay twice as much attention to details. When preparing for a walk it is as if you are planning for a different person. How far can future Marek walk? 85 miles in six days is about 14 miles a day plus extra mileage to get to B&B’s. Miraculously I planned the walk so it was only one B&B that was any distance off route (two miles from Burnham-Overy-Staithe at the end of Day One).
The night before the walk started was spent in Hunstanton at an Air B&B where a yappy dog followed me around barking (even outside my bedroom door at 3 am). I was very pleased to get going the following morning, I much prefer the anonymity of hotels but my budget did not allow for it. The crowds of tourists were not up yet when I reached the start point around eight o’clock.
The first two days of the Coastal Path were pretty similar, picturesque towns and miles of marshland, interspersed with the occasional mobile crab shop or windmill. The walk gradually becomes more isolated so by the time rain came down on Holkham Beach it felt as though I was the only person in the world. After the walk, a couple of people told me it was the location for a horror film an MR James adaptation called ‘A Warning to the Curious.’ Had I watched that before I would have been terrified of being there alone.
I’ve always felt a strong connection with Norfolk, it was where I was born, and where my Dad’s side of the family is from. My Aunty has traced our ancestors back to the 12th Century and I found myself wondering whether my relations from years past had ever walked bits of the same route. I passed through Blakeney and Cley-on-Sea and was really enjoying myself when I hit the Cley Shingle. You cannot possibly understand how awful walking on four miles of continuous shingle is until you’ve walked on four miles of continuous shingle. I’m sure scientists will one day confirm that it is more like walking twenty miles. So that 15-mile day felt at least twice as long. Things were not helped by the climb to Beeston Bump and an inland detour my route planner inexplicably added.
Luckily Cromer more than made up for it. I fell in love with this Victorian seaside town with its charming architecture and cool pier. I think it helped that it was out of season. It’s full of quirky buildings and has some great local artists, I only wish I could’ve spent longer there, but the next day I was off again in the direction of Mundesley.
The second half of the walk has a much bleaker feel, the marshland gives way to beaches, and you become rather spoilt with views of the seashore. As beautiful as the sea is, after a while it does become a bit samey and the walk and the weather took a bit of a dip. But I was rewarded for battling through the worsening conditions once I got to Horsey Gap. The downpour had left the beach deserted. The shore was dotted with black rocks, but as I approached I could see that some of them were seals, and I was soon walking just ten metres away from a seal colony. There is something intrinsically likeable about seals faces. Naturally curious they all turned to look at me, whether from the beach or their frolics in the sea. I have spent a while trying to work out what was so memorable about the experience. I think it was because I was outnumbered by about 100 to one, and stepping into their territory. I suppose this is an unusual feeling for a human being. One of the seals was especially cute and we stared at each other for about a minute while I took photos. I doubt he thought I was cute. Probably thought I was a walking egg.
That encounter proved to be the highlight of the walk. The last day which takes you through Great Yarmouth was pretty grim. It did not feel pleasant suddenly being thrust into a populated built-up area that smells mainly of people smoking weed. Once you get to Gorleston on Sea things get a lot more pleasant. Then before you know it, you’ve reach the end at Hopton.
Finishing a walk is possibly one of the most anti-climatic experiences. If you are lucky there is a marker telling you you’ve reached the end. That’s about it. No reward, no one to say well done. You just have to try and find where the bus stop is to make your way home.
I thoroughly enjoyed the experience, perhaps even more so in retrospect. It felt a far more solitary walk than the South Downs Way, especially if you do it out of season. A great, if somewhat tiring way to spend six days of the Autumn.
October 2021
Emojis, Revenue & Costs
I wanted to find a way of saying thank you to the people who’ve signed up for the Youtube membership which gives me some funds every month. Your support is invaluable. I have created two emojis which you can use in the Youtube comments by typing :cooldude: and :staycool: . These are only available to Youtube members, and for some reason, they don’t seem to work on the Ipad (ask Youtube about this). I will be making more emojis from your suggestions soon. If you want to sign up to use these you can do so from 0.99 a month.
If I was watching my videos, I would be curious how much money I was making and where it was all going. I know it’s uncouth to talk about these things, but I wanted to explain to those who support the channel where it goes and thought it may be of interest to any budding Youtubers.
I watch Youtube more than television. It’s an incredible platform, you can do exactly what you like without having to justify it to anyone. I absolutely love it. Currently, I probably spend 40+ hours a week making videos for the Cool Dudes Walking Club so it is pretty much a full-time job.
‘Just tell us, how much you make?’
Chill out dude! I will break it down into categories.
Sponsorship
I think there’s a bit of a misconception that I make loads of money from sponsorship. My channel is pretty small so you can’t command big fees, but I have been lucky enough to get a sponsor I really like who doesn’t interfere with my content. I get about one video sponsored a month, while I can’t go into details about money. It covers the cost of travel and B&B for one video, so I know I can make at least one video a month.
Website Membership
I have priced the £10 membership on this website and all the products so that after production costs, VAT, Paypal fees, prize giveaways and postage a third of the retail price is profit. (Providing I sell 80% of them).
Amazon Referrals on Products
Last month I made £1.80. Ha. This is pretty typical.
YouTube Revenue
Membership
Currently, there are 80 people signed up for Youtube membership which has four different tiers of payment. Youtube offer a 70/30 split in favour of the content producer.
Advertising
I have chosen only to put adverts at the start and the end of videos. There is an option to put them in the middle, which would make more money but I think this ruins the videos. In terms of revenue, you get between £1 and £2 for every thousand views, so not that much.
Costs
At the time of writing, the cost of Cool Dudes Walking Club exceeds the revenue. A lot of the expenses go on gear – computers, cameras, microphones, walking gear. I hope that most of the things I buy will last a good few years so the costs should go down. Although, there are regular costs such as hard drive storage (I use about 5GB a year) and website renewal and domain security.
In terms of the walks themselves, it averages out around £150 a month in travel and B&Bs. I try to do one big long walk a year which takes up a lot of this budget (the Norfolk Coastal Path was £750!).
The dream
The dream is to get 1,000 people to join the Youtube membership. I think that would be enough to start considering it as a full-time job. I’m very lucky in that I have about fifty people who have supported me in absolutely everything I have done – painting videos, charity walks, Cool Dudes Memberships, donations etc. I cannot thank these people enough, as they single-handedly kept me afloat during Lockdown. You all know who you are, so an extra special thank you to you.
I hope this blog has been of interest to people. I would like to thank all the cool dudes who have joined the club on the website or youtube or both for your help in building this channel and community. Having the freedom to do what I want creatively is the dream for me and is really pleasing that you value my content enough to support me. One day I hope I will have enough supporters to travel abroad and do more walks in exotic places. One day…..
Until then. Thank you again and……stay cool.
September 2021
Trails & Long Walks
This has been the month of long walks and editing long walks. As you may have seen I created my very own trail. I say created, this is a massive stretch. I just put together my favourite Isle of Wight walks into one long walk. Then I spent about two days designing a badge for it. I have called it ‘The Cool Dudes Trail’. Anyone who completes it is automatically cool for up to seven days.
Halfway through the second day of the Cool Dudes Trail, I realised I was walking through the ‘Field of Doom’. A field where I almost got trampled by a bunch of arsehole cows two years ago. It was etched on my memory as it was the fastest I have run in the 21st Century. This was followed by another realisation that I would have to reroute the trail or would lead innocent people walking straight through the ‘Field of Doom’. So the trail was four days walking, probably about two days planning, two days designing logos, two days writing the guide sheets, and about eight days editing. Stupid Cool Dudes Trail. I now have a newfound respect for people who map out their own trails and hope to be less critical in the future.
I also did ‘Walk the Wight’. The weather was perfect. It’s a 27.5 walk from Bembridge, across the Isle of Wight to Alum Bay. I think close to 3,000 people were doing the full walk and probably another 1,000 doing the half walk. The event is to raise money for Mountbatten a charity that provides end of life care and support for people on the Island. I had hoped to raise £100 but ended up with a colossal £1400+. I was simply blown away by everyone’s support. Thank you everyone. I am so moved by everyone’s generosity.
I started the walk at 6.15 am and was worried about not finishing by the cut off time at 6 pm at Alum Bay. However, there is something to be said for walking in large groups as it definitely speeds up your pace. I found I had done the first ten miles in just over three hours. Smashing through the 3mph mark. ‘How is this possible?’ you ask. It is all down to the fact there were loads of really noisy annoying people on the walk having loud boring conversations, and I had to walk as fast as I could to get them out of earshot. Then inevitably another group would come along and I would have to do the same.
I eventually finished the route in 9 and half hours. It was physically draining. It was not so much a pleasurable experience as a feat of endurance. You can choose to do the walk on a day without people, which would be a lot more tranquil. Although the water stations and toilets provided for the event would obviously be absent. However, I am pleased I have done it.
That’s it for this month. I better start packing for the next big walk.
August 2021
Sketching & Charity
It’s August, and yes I did forget to do the blog in July. I know that the four people who read this will find it in their hearts to forgive me.
Firstly I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone who has sponsored my up and coming ‘Walk the Wight’ charity walk, it’s 27 miles across the Isle of Wight, raising money for Mountbatten (a charity that provides end of life care and bereavement counselling). The walk takes place in September and I’ll almost definitely be making a video about it. My target was to raise £100 and thanks to the generosity of the Cool Dudes, I am currently just over £800. I am taken aback by everyone’s kindness. Thank you. The Justgiving page is here if you want to check my progress. (Click here).
This month I would like to talk about the joy of sketching, yes sketching. Whilst walking the Serpent Trail at the end of May, I often regretted not scheduling more time to stop and enjoy my surroundings.
The best thing about sketching is it has forced me to look at the minutiae, the shape of a tree, or the way light hits a building. I’m not especially good at capturing it, but there’s something calming about concentrating on what’s in front of you. There always seems to be something going on, even at the quietest of places, an ant passing by, or a bird stopping off to look around.
Each sketch probably takes me around half an hour. It always amazes me how long I spend producing something wildly inaccurate. At the end I feel some satisfaction in having recorded something. I don’t know why this is. Probably something to do with why I’m compelled to make videos, the need to record something to believe it exists or maybe even that I exist. This is getting too philosophical, it’s Cool Dudes Walking Club not Introspective Dudes Thinking club.
I have added my favourite pencils (the Pentel 205 range and the Caran D’Ache 844) to my Walking Gear list, (click here) as well as the sketchbook I use in case any cool dudes fancy doing the same. You can even get different colour leads these days! I look forward to seeing some sketches you Cool Dudes. Stay cool.
June 2021
Editing
There’s only one thing more boring than watching someone go on a walk, and that’s reading about someone editing a video about going on a walk.
I’ve just finished editing the four Serpent Trail videos. I completed the walk about three weeks ago and have spent most of the time since editing. I thought it might be interesting for some people if I shared the laborious details of my editing process for each video.
Day One
I upload the footage and review each clip. When I started making my walking videos there used to be around 100 clips to watch, but somehow this has swollen to between 150 and 180 clips as the videos have lengthened. Watching them takes allllllll daaaaaayyyyyyyyy. However it is quite nice to relive the walk.
As I watch them I put the good bits into the timeline, this gives me very rough edit to work from. Here’s my first big tip: If you’re vlogging, every time you talk to the camera turn it around after and film what you can see for a few seconds after. This helps greatly when editing out mistakes or shortening sections.
Day Two
It’s already the second day and I can’t believe I am nowhere near finished or that you’re still reading this. After the first edit each video is around 15 minutes long. I spend the day getting rid of all the ‘ers’ and ‘erms’ and unnecessary pauses (there are a lot). Then I take out the less interesting bits to cut the video down to ten minutes.
One of the most time consuming things is blending the sound between each clip. I have to do this about 50 times. It really helps the video flow better, but is almost as boring as this paragraph.
Now its time add the images of things I mention on the walk which also covers up cuts I’ve made. By the end of the day I have probably watched the video about twenty times and hate my own face.
Day Three
Watching something with fresh eyes is another one of my best tips. I review the whole video first thing and tweak the bits I have missed.
Now it is time to add the music. I use the Youtube Audio Library which is excellent and also rights free so you don’t have to worry about all that bollocks. I go through and save my favourite ones so I’ve probably got a bank of about 50 I use as well as some loops and stuff I made on Garage Band.
Now it’s time to add my terrible cartoons. I use a cheap drawing pad I found on Amazon and Affinity Designer which at half price £25 is excellent. The drawings may be bad but take about 20 minutes each.
The last step is doing the prize draw which takes about twenty minutes.
Finally I watch through the video a couple of times more, then it is time for the upload. On the Isle of Wight the internet is awful with uploads speeds of 1mbps. So I upload it over night (it takes about ten hours!!!!)
Day Four
I wake up and pray my shit internet has uploaded the video. With the upload complete it’s time to choose a thumbnail, add the description and post on social media and my websites. Probably takes a couple of hours.
Conclusion
That is it. The enthralling editing process. With the planning and the walk itself each video takes up about five days. Far too long. I hope it is worth it. Thanks for reading and stay cool.
May 2021
Books
Reading is possibly my favourite thing in the world. That’s right maybe even better than walking or sleeping! I never seem to give myself enough time to do it, half an hour before bed, or a few snatched minutes on a train journey somewhere. My mid year’s resolution is to give myself more time to read.
I think perhaps I like it so much as it offers even more of an escape than walking, you can go anywhere to places that don’t even exist, and also it’s nice to inhabit someone else’s mind for a change. I am always happiest when I’ve got a good book on the go and some of my all time favourites have been about journeys.
One in particular is called ‘The Phantom Tollbooth‘. It’s about a boy called Milo who is bored with everything, until a magical Tollbooth appears in his room and takes him off an amazing journey.
I remember my friend at school reading the only copy in the library at a painfully slow pace. I looked over his shoulder at the incredible illustrations, keenly waiting for him to finish. After months he eventually did and the book fell into my hands. It proved to be even better than I’d hoped.
The writing is so concise and witty. It is considered a children’s book, but I find it even more enjoyable reading it as an adult. Norton Juster’s turn of phrase is so pleasing, it feels that every sentence could be a quote.
Sadly Norton Juster passed away this year at the grand old age of 91. I regret not writing to him to thank him for all the joy his book has given me. I should really write to Jules Feiffer whose wonderful line drawings are an equal part of what makes the book magical.
Over the past few years I’ve started to collect different editions where I can find them. The incredible thing about it is that looking through the illustrations for a second, or reading a chapter or two has the power to make me happy. You can probably ask for nothing more from a book.
A big thank you to Norton Juster and Jules Feiffer for creating something wonderful.
April 2021
All about gear
Everyone knows you don’t need any gear to go on a walk, nonetheless over the past three years I have bought a lot of gear. I say bought, I mean relied on cool dudes joining the club to pay for gear. Memberships 1-100 paid for my Osprey Exos 58 (a lightweight rucksack), 101-200 paid for my tent, 201-250 my sleeping bag, and the big expense 250-500 the ultra expensive but incredible Garmin watch (plus some help from some kind donations). Whereas the Youtube donations have paid for a new lightweight fleece and rain jacket as well as this website. Thank you all very much cool dudes I could not have got this stuff without you.
Having walking as a hobby has also solved all my relatives’ Christmas and Birthday present conundrums. Valued gifts have included Trekking poles, a headtorch, Buff, socks, trousers, bum bag, cup, wallet, cooking pots, stoves, towels and trowel.
So although it looks like a lot, over a couple of Christmases and birthdays you can slowly build up your kit. Shops like Decathalon are brilliant offering some amazing gear at incredible prices, (although I dread to think where it is made). I’ve justified my spending to myself as I don’t own a car, and literally don’t buy anything else other than walking or camera gear. But why Marek? Why do you need all this shit?
For comfort.
I was invited on my first long walk about 13 years ago with a friend. I wore converse trainers and jeans. I enjoyed the walk, but I did not enjoy the chafing or blisters. Before the second walk I bought a pair of zip off Craghopper trousers and some walking shoes, and the next walk was much less painful. This was the beginning of my transformation into looking like a total loser, where even my 98 year old Nan takes the piss out of my hat.
My big trip last year was the South Downs Way. Thanks to accommodation help from my brother and a friend, the trip probably only cost around £100. The biggest expense was all the gear I needed. I think if my rucksack was any heavier, and I didn’t have the proper shoes, trekking poles etc. I probably would not have been able to complete it. On the second day I bumped into a group of blokes about ten years younger than me, who were giving up as their gear was too heavy and they had blisters.
After this couple of years of acquisitions I think I have got everything I need hopefully for a long while. And as my acting work slowly dries up I hope to now try and rely upon Cool Dudes Walking Club to live off, and treat it as a part time job. Which it pretty much has been for a while. So fingers crossed as of April 2021. No more gear.
I will be monitoring my usage of my items on my walking gear page with my PPU (Price per Use) system. I’ll update it monthly. I hope to get each item well below the acceptable £1 mark.
Thanks for reading. Stay cool.
March 2021
Websites take ages to build. That is has been my main discovery this month.
In the UK the Covid restrictions have limited the range of walks, so I decided to focus on making the ‘Spotter’s Handbook’ and building this website. My skills and knowledge when it come to design are pretty rudimentary, so I had to learn by trial and error. Maybe I could have saved half the time by watching more tutorials, but trying to find the right video and listening to some of the people is torture. I bought Affinity Design and Publisher for half price and they have proved excellent value for making the Spotter’s Handbook.
Finally the book is printed and ready and features some excellent suggestions from members. All the photos are taken from my walks and travels over the past ten years. I really hope it adds to the enjoyment of all the cool dudes on their walks.
I’ve also had to put the price of membership up to £10 as the £5 was sadly not enough to cover printing and website costs and to fund more walks.
I’m looking forward to doing a couple of long trails this year, keeping my fingers crossed things get back to normal. Stay cool.
